The human brain loves to worry. Even those brains that aren’t particularly anxious are hardwired to worry, at least sometimes. Worry keeps us safe; so our brains relish the chance to scan the environment for threats, wrestle with a problem, and anticipate scenarios in a bid to avoid being blindsided.
But of course, the human brain is not immune to error. I’ve already written about cognitive traps and how our threat response (fight, flight, freeze) can drive us to act against our better interests.
So in times of heightened emotion, the human brain is only as sophisticated as its most primitive parts. As American actor-comedian Emo Phillips said:
“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”
But while we are susceptible to error, anxiety generally doesn’t move from being helpful to unhelpful without a reason, even if this reason is only a perceived one.
The way we understand our place in the world develops during infancy and early childhood. We call this attachment, because it centres around how we relate (or attach) to our caregivers.
- Children with secure attachment understand caregivers will meet their needs without them needing to do or be anything special. This produces individuals who naturally trust others and possess an inherent sense of self-worth.
- Children with more challenging or conditional relationships with caregivers can develop an anxious attachment style. For whatever reason, they understand they must work harder for love and safety.
- Where caregivers are largely absent or not responsive, children can develop an avoidant attachment style, where they learn very early not to rely on others.
This doesn’t mean that only those with an anxious attachment style experience anxiety. But it does explain how anxiety can be recruited to help us regulate our connection and safety needs.
This is explored in the latest Disney-Pixar feature Inside Out 2. While Riley, now 13, exhibits a secure relationship with her parents and friends, the onset of puberty introduces 4 new emotions to Riley’s worldview: Embarrassment, Ennui (disaffection), Envy and Anxiety.
As the primary emotions are relegated to the background, we see what happens when Anxiety is in the driver’s seat. Riley’s sense of self was previously characterised by the core belief ‘I am a good person’. But with Anxiety at the helm, this core belief transforms into ‘I am not good enough’.
Anxiety’s goal here isn’t to make us feel inherently bad about ourselves; but simply to keep us safe. The thinking is; if we anticipate all the ways things could go wrong, it will hurt less and we will be in a better position to respond if and when it does go wrong.
But the unintended consequence of living with constant anxiety is mistrust – both of self and of others. Mistrust of self translates to a sense of inadequacy: ‘I am not good enough’. And inadequacy begets more anxiety, especially as painful experiences accumulate throughout our lives and reinforce the need for self-preservation.
As we see in the film, anxiety-induced self-preservation is both restrictive and all-consuming. Emotions generally elicit some action from us. There is a ‘charge’ and a ‘discharge’ of energy. But while anxiety can translate into (often impulsive) action, it can also manifest as rumination and inertia. Our anxious thoughts swirl and engulf us, sometimes to the point where any positive action feels impossible. And if we aren’t able to take any action, the ‘charge’ of emotion remains in our limbic (feeling) system and feeds our anxiety further.
So, how do we respond to anxiety? The first step is compassion. If we can tend to and befriend anxiety, we validate its motives and temper its intensity so it feels less destructive.
The second step is conceptualising ourselves holistically. As we see in the film, the core beliefs ‘I am a good person’ and ‘I am not enough’ (and everything else in between) fuse to create a sense of self that is flawed but no less worthy.
On a practical level, apps like Worry Time can also help us manage anxiety, by providing a safe place to hold our worries until we can tend to them at a more appropriate time.
Anxiety is essential to our survival. Our job is to acknowledge it without letting it engulf us.
Image credit: Inside Out 2, 2024
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