Have you ever taken a problem to a friend or colleague and they have made it all about themselves; either because of their own experience (relevant or not) or their reaction to your experience? Based on concentric circles, Ring Theory (developed by Susan Silk) is a simple model for helping people to become better allies.Continue reading “Allyship and Ring Theory”
Category Archives: relationships
Understanding and befriending anxiety
The human brain loves to worry. Even those brains that aren’t particularly anxious are hardwired to worry, at least sometimes. Worry keeps us safe; so our brains relish the chance to scan the environment for threats, wrestle with a problem, and anticipate scenarios in a bid to avoid being blindsided. But of course, the humanContinue reading “Understanding and befriending anxiety”
Re-establishing connection after conflict
The road to relational repair can be a bumpy one. When we have behaved poorly, our bruised ego or sense of shame can hijack our accountability. When we have been wronged, it can be tricky to hold those we esteem to account, especially if we have unclear boundaries. Friendships and acquaintanceships can be particularly trickyContinue reading “Re-establishing connection after conflict”
Shame and connection
In 2017, I was lucky enough to attend the first mindful self-compassion (MSC) teacher training in Australia. During the course, MSC pioneer Chris Germer explained that shame stems from our most innocent of needs; the need to be loved and accepted. I’m not the first to note the irony, that the most innocent, universal andContinue reading “Shame and connection”
Emotional safety and boundaries
The human brain experiences unmet emotional needs in the same way it experiences unmet physical needs – with a rising sense of panic that our very safety is threatened. Evolutionarily speaking this makes sense; unmet emotional needs signal our separation from others, which is a huge threat to our ability to survive a hostile physicalContinue reading “Emotional safety and boundaries”
Love languages – which one(s) do you speak?
Have you ever noticed that slight disconnect that comes from having unmet needs? You know; that feeling of receiving a gift or a compliment from someone when what you really want is to spend quality time with them? If the gift or compliment, no matter how sincerely offered, is just not hitting the spot, itContinue reading “Love languages – which one(s) do you speak?”
This One Too 