thisonetoocanberra

What even is the point of everything anyway?

We all struggle to find meaning sometimes, especially in genuinely difficult circumstances. It may seem like nothing we do moves the dial in our favour and even those close to us don’t seem to see or understand us. Or maybe even things that once held meaning now feel tainted and we can’t articulate why. OrContinue reading “What even is the point of everything anyway?”

An argument for uneven growth

Growth can feel overwhelming. At least it can when we expect to grow in multiple domains at the same time. However, even working with one very complex domain can leave us feeling perpetually stuck; like we’re simply spinning our wheels. I’ve definitely experienced this. And I’ve also recently experienced a breakthrough. This wasn’t down toContinue reading “An argument for uneven growth”

Allyship and Ring Theory

Have you ever taken a problem to a friend or colleague and they have made it all about themselves; either because of their own experience (relevant or not) or their reaction to your experience? Based on concentric circles, Ring Theory (developed by Susan Silk) is a simple model for helping people to become better allies.Continue reading “Allyship and Ring Theory”

Understanding and befriending anxiety

The human brain loves to worry. Even those brains that aren’t particularly anxious are hardwired to worry, at least sometimes. Worry keeps us safe; so our brains relish the chance to scan the environment for threats, wrestle with a problem, and anticipate scenarios in a bid to avoid being blindsided. But of course, the humanContinue reading “Understanding and befriending anxiety”

Re-establishing connection after conflict

The road to relational repair can be a bumpy one. When we have behaved poorly, our bruised ego or sense of shame can hijack our accountability. When we have been wronged, it can be tricky to hold those we esteem to account, especially if we have unclear boundaries. Friendships and acquaintanceships can be particularly trickyContinue reading “Re-establishing connection after conflict”

Landmarks of emotion

I was recently introduced to a new model of stress/trauma response, known as the Landmarks of Emotion, developed by Kristy Arbon from Heartworks. This model defines six separate landmarks (or internal states): Landmark Do we act out of choice? Do we feel ready for action? Description Rest Yes No Feeling easeful and effortless. In thisContinue reading “Landmarks of emotion”

Shame and connection

In 2017, I was lucky enough to attend the first mindful self-compassion (MSC) teacher training in Australia. During the course, MSC pioneer Chris Germer explained that shame stems from our most innocent of needs; the need to be loved and accepted. I’m not the first to note the irony, that the most innocent, universal andContinue reading “Shame and connection”

Vulnerability – how much is too much, how little is too little?

My friend of nearly 20 years died suddenly this month. She had been in poor health but, even so, no one expected this. My friend was unfailingly generous – with her time, her skills, her energy and her care. She cared deeply about people and about her community, often devoting herself to charitable causes andContinue reading “Vulnerability – how much is too much, how little is too little?”

Music and meaning

Scientific research demonstrates that music has a huge influence on our personal and societal wellbeing. While not everyone enjoys the same music, I think most people would agree that music has the power to evoke memory, transform mood and unite people in shared experience. This shared experience can be with thousands of strangers at aContinue reading “Music and meaning”